Chores from the River Styx

Many churches celebrate communion every week. This is a time to join not only with the Lord, but with other believers, to share burdens and joys, to worship and be thankful.

In our home, we also have a weekly ceremony of coming together, sharing burdens, and opening our hearts to one another by reaching into a communal crock. But instead of sharing bread and wine, we Draw Chores. Drawing Chores creates the opposite effect, however, as we piece out the week's obligations like Europe parceling out Africa.

we rarely wear suits to draw chores

*Some background information: my household consists of myself (Mama, mid-twenties), the Weatherman (my husband of a certain number of years, mid-thirties), our two children (Eeffers, age 3, boy; and Snoozy, age 1, girl), and my good friend the kids call Gogo, who rents part of our house (and, bless her heart, shares our kitchen and dining space).

Because the Weatherman and myself are, by nature, selfish, lazy, ill-tempered brutes, we decided two years ago that the safest and most equitable to divide chores would be to leave it to Fate, to cast lots, as it were, by drawing slips of paper from a jar every Sunday night.

no Monday Dishes, no Monday Dishes 

Our household chores consist of the following--Dishes (Sun-Sat), Vacuuming (Tues and Thurs, up and downstairs), Tidy (Mon, Wed, Fri, Weekend), Sweep (Mon and Fri), and some varied things like Mop Kitchen, Fridge Sweep (we have good intentions about leftovers, but rarely follow through), Bathroom, Mow (currently: Shovel Snow), and the enigmatic Organize One Spot (which, for the Weatherman, means Free Pass).

Tonight is the first night we have drawn chores all year. Granted, 2017 has only just begun, but I still feel that it is inauspicious to not have started right after the start of the new annum.

Drawing chores always comes with a certain amount of suspicion, skepticism, and surveillance, much like current relations between the US and China. On the surface, everybody's following well-established household rules, but underneath there's always the risk of shady, underhanded dealings and collusion.

maybe we should draw chores at high noon

For example, since he doesn't yet know about this blog, while drawing chores for the Weatherman in his absence, I pulled out two slips instead of one--Monday Trash Out and Tuesday Vacuum. 

Now, like most members of my gender, possessing sensitive olfactory nerves, I am not keen on taking out the trash (and this particular chore includes not only rolling down to the curb on Monday, but removal of daily household trash). But my husband has no such compunctions, and I like to think he revels in the masculine duty of taking out the garbage, much like early homo sapiens bringing in a trussed-up deer. So, in his best interests, I let Tuesday Vacuum slip back into the ceramic pitcher, and awarded Monday Trash Out to my lucky spouse.

I'm sure there are other ways to divide chores equitably, or, in the wise words of my pastor "in marriage, there should be no counting of who-does-what or who-did-more; just do what needs to be done. Put yourself last." But then, he is a very godly man, and we are made of weaker stuff.*

*Also, he is married to a total fox 

**Insert joke about how pastors only work one day out of the week, anyhow.